If She Insists on Having the Baby, Can a Man Choose a Financial Abortion?

October 21, 2011 By Staff 17 Comments

by Kirsten West- Savali, Your Black World

From wild conspiracy theories surrounding Planned Parenthood founder, Margaret Sanger, and her subscription to eugenics, to conservative anti-choice organizations vilifying the wombs of African-American children from Atlanta to Oakland, the termination of a pregnancy is an intimate decision that continues to be examined, judged and defended from pulpits to pool halls across the United States of America.

Conservative laymen and politicians relentlessly engage in socio-economic warfare againstPlanned Parenthood, attempting to manipulate women of color into denying themselves access to the life-saving healthcare that the organization provides. In essence, critics paint scarlet A’s across the uteri of women seeking abortions, then cast them unprotected into the court of public opinion as perpetrators of a vast genocidal plot to “murder” the future of black and brown children one abortion at a time.

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Filed Under: black children, black health, black love and relationships, black men, Black Women, Commentary, Featured, Money and Business, Your Black World Tagged With: black women, financial abortions, kirsten west savali, reproductive rights

http://www.facebook.com/juicyfruit4u Ann Lemond-Hume

No he cannot, unless she “raped” him. He was a willing participant and should not be allowed to divorce himself from the situation. These same “men” are the ones who pop up outta nowhere when the mother raises a “Shaqille O’Neal” or “Kelly Rowland” etc. Then they wanna be a daddy.
Esamye

What about women that “sleep” with married men. They are aware and they do it anyway. In this particular case, any child support should be split 50/50. I raised and worked for my own children without any help from the State or the father. I have little sympathy for these women.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_W4URVX2AFXHIKJ2ZF7PVKDRJOY Meangrl

@ Esamye, what about those same married men who are cheating? Where is their responsibility? Married men who get women other than their wives pregnant don’t get a pass. Excusing that husband is a hall pass to do it again. And like Ann said, when they realize they have a million-dollar baby, they want to be Daddy all of a sudden. Kick rocks with that mess.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QRVUNZ2GVPVXBYAOHEKY2SRDLY Harvette Ellington

Those are silly women, but the married individual is worst than the single.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_W4URVX2AFXHIKJ2ZF7PVKDRJOY Meangrl

ANY sex can lead to pregnancy; women understand that, but men seem to be slow on that fact. If you don’t want this person to possibly be the mother/father of your child, then why have sex with them? Having your cake means eating it too. This sounds like another excuse for men to walk away from responsibility. He didn’t walk away from the sex. SOME men/fathers are immature enough, we don’t need to give them any ammunition to be a deadbeat. Women need to be more observant of the men they have sex with; How many kids does he have already? Does he support them? Is he respectful of his children’s mother(s)? Women are not totally innocent, some think the ‘baby trap’ works (it never works). Point is, if you’re adult enough to have sex, you’re adult enough to raise a baby.

Twin2336

Are you making that contention for both men and women? Or, are expecting men to except responsibilities women are unwilling to accept, (like the ones you outlined in your post) themselves. Look, I’m just about positive that we all agree parents should be responsible for their children, emotionally, security, spiritually and financially, the conflict appears to surface at the notion women should have rights on parenting after conception and men shouldn’t. We can argue all we want both let me ask you a question, you started a job and they told you that after two weeks of working you would stop getting paid but you had to keep working for eighteen years, and if you tired to quit they would sue you and recoup all the free labor they could have gotten out of you for eighteen years, would you start that job? probably not right. My point is this, if he tells you, shows you, or in anyway demonstrates that he will not or cannot contribute to the well being of this child, why would you as a mother expect anything but what he is saying. No court in the land can make him be a father, and you can ask most single women raising a child without a father around, that money is cool, but come pick this baby up and give me a break. Most women set themselves up for failure.

Anonymous

Men do have a perfectly legal
choice: the choice to keep their pants zipped. Why is this so difficult to
understand?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Mamas-Matriarch/100001522987065 Mamas Matriarch

I dont see why they dont understand that..but in a patriarchal culture that ensues no male accountability and responsibility, they will never “zip it up”

jenkinsk

I hear you…but I am not sure I agree with you.

Men do not hit women over the head with clubs and drag them off to their caves. In our so-called patriarchal society women are 100% responsible and accountable for selecting a quality mate from among the available pool of men in their environment. If a woman chooses poorly, her as well as any offspring produced may end up suffering for her poor choice.

I think black women should raise their level of expectations seriously high… And the expectations should be based on weighing and judgeing a man’s Attitude, Behavior, and Character (ABCs). All this…”Gurl, he fine!” He got Money!, He so funny!, blah-blah BS needs to be shutdown quick.

On the topic of Finanial Abortion…touchy subject.

Man finds out kid(s) are not his… He should have the right to recover all child support

Woman pokes hole in condom or fill up turkey baster… He should have the right to financially abort.

Man tells women he doesnt want kids, she gets pregnant… He should pay child support.

Woman has sexual relations with a married man… He should pay child support.

Woman hides pregnancy from sex partner, boyfriend, married lover for multiple years, and raises child on her own. She expereince financial difficulties and petitions court to recieve child support… Man should be able to financially abort.l

Peace
Lisamarie

Funny, this same culture allows women to legally abandon their newborn babies through safe haven laws, but men have no such option.

Danita Johnson, Durham

Both he and she should divorce the sex; and, do much talking-prior to his “whipping it out” and her “dropping the drawers”. All too often people enter into intimate, physical activity with strangers; then, deal with the reality of consequence “after-the-fact”. If he is not prepared for a family situation; but, she is, then both parties should be aware of what is on each other’s minds before risking the creation of one. Whatever his and her real purposes for one another are, that information should be shared up front. Then, having a child with someone you don’t even know can lead to a multitude of problems for every party involved-mainly the child, who will grow up confused about how and why they were born into a jacked up situation. Getting to know someone takes much longer than a night at the club, dancing and drinking with each other; and, a roll in the sack at a one night stand. If a man is willing to deposit sperm into a woman, he should be prepared for the end result; if she chooses not to use birth control; if the birth control method fails; or, if she deceives him into thinking she used birth control. Further, should a woman elect to have a child; but, the father of the baby chooses not to remain with her, that is a bed she made for herself, and the innocent victim (the child). She must prepare herself to work extra hard to provide for the child; although this does not excuse the man’s lack of responsibility. We are all responsible for ourselves; and, we cannot “make” someone else want what we want-even when it involves bringing another life; hence, life-time responsibility into the world.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_P4DCOLDWW3S2YC7FS5IF4LWYQY bmoney

We are not going to talk about having a baby let-alone having responsibility for a child,aside from putting on a condom and just not having sex,that is all the power a man has but it’s not that simple,if you are a female you know what i’m talking about and when you want a male chances are you will get him, so it’s not easy as you guys make it seem, but at the end of the day The female has the say so in terms of sex, if it happens or not, so she bears more of the responsibility than the male!

Anonymous

“when you ‘want’ a male, chances are…you will get him” means “whatever that male’s mind-set is”. Why would any woman ‘want a male’ without knowing anything about him? That is what whorish women do. Relax, I’m not calling you a whore; but, what I am saying is: “all women don’t think the same-just because we are female”. What I am… saying is “women who go around ‘wanting’ men without knowing what he and she can both offer one another in a healthy relationship; and, especially, if she should wind up with a baby to raise-are treading up dangerous and risky waters. What makes it ‘as easy as everyone is saying’ is… before we lose self-control and begin ‘wanting a male’ regardless to his station in life, is being flat-out irresponsibility on the woman’s part. And, for a man to succumb to a woman’s advances, without considering his station in life (i.e. already in a relationship, married, already have children and baby momma drama, no job, no intention of raising a child, etc) is also being irresponsible. Hence, self-control is the main issue; and, male and female are responsible for having it before becoming intimate with each other. We are not wild animals sniffing each other out just because we are of the opposite gender. That is what dogs do; and, females are not exempt from being dogs. We are civilized human beings; and, we ‘all’ should behave as such regardless to our gender.

Poetee

Men just need to realize they do not have control over that part once conception is done. What they do have control over is not going there in the first place,but then they say that that’s a fact of life re: sex and it does not mean that they want a baby because of a natural sex drive. Beyonces ” If you like then you should have put a ring on it” should be for men ” If you don’t want a baby then you should have put a thing on it!” what happened to waiting to have sex before marriage- oh wait, I’m being too old fashioned and the divorce rates and babies out of wedlock, and anything goes these days I wonder how is that working for ya who think of it as being too old fashioned!
http://twitter.com/Beyoncca Beyoncca

I have felt so strongly about this subject for quite a while. I feel if women hold all the power in whether to have or abort a child, while the man has no say so even if he agrees to raise the baby alone the mother decides if she wants to carry the child or not. Men should have some kind of disclaimer, where they can “opt out” {so to speak} and they can have a fighting chance in life if they don’t feel responsible at that point in their lives, like the women do every day, they make the choice.

Lisamarie

Glad to see more women supporting the idea.

I have many options as a woman, even if I’m irresponsible with sex. I can abort, I can adopt out, I can drop off a baby and leave at any safe haven location. But a man has nothing, even if he was responsible and used a condom. If I can choose whether or not I will be a parent, so should my partner.

Lisamarie

I support financial abortion, and I’m female. All you people talking about a man walking away from his responsibilities, are you aware a woman can do the exact same thing, via safe haven laws? She can drop a newborn off at any safe haven church and leave, no questions asked. No one seems concerned about who will raise and pay for the kid then, only if the father wants to leave.
But I do believe he should have to tell her he’s walking away very early into the pregnancy, early enough for her to abort if she wants. He wouldn’t be able to tell her he’s walking as she’s carrying around a 6 month old fetus.